Local Obituary
Norma “Jean” Kjeldgaard
On December 27, 2022, my Mom, Norma “Jean” Kjeldgaard, passed away. She was 94 years old.
On November 18, 2022, she fell breaking her nose and both wrists. After the wrists were cast, she was transferred from the hospital to a skilled nursing facility.
She was doing great until she tested positive for COVID and was placed in isolation. I believe with all my being that loneliness and depression were the causes of her death.
When she was moved out of COVID isolation, we were shocked to see how her health had deteriorated. Her speech was hard to understand. She didn’t want to eat or drink. She slept most of the day. The casts on her wrists were rubbing sores where they were in contact with her thin, frail skin.
I prayed that the ‘old Mom’ would come back. She would talk to me again and we could have mother-daughter conversations. I wanted to tell her how sorry we all were that she got COVID.
On December 23, we contacted Hillcrest Hospice to find out if Mom was ready for their expert care. Mom was in Hillcrest Hospice care for only 5 days. I was moved to see absolute strangers taking such loving care of Mom. The entire family took comfort in their recommendations to make Mom more comfortable — an air mattress, bumpers on the bed to prevent her from falling out, and fall mats just in case. We appreciated their sharing what to expect as Mom’s passing was near.
Mom’s passing was expected. My heart wanted her to hang on just a few more days but my head knew it was time for her to be with her Heavenly Father. It was time to be out of pain. I prayed ‘Thy will be done’, and I knew it was time for me to let her go.
After Mom passed, we chose a beautiful royal blue outfit for Mom to wear. It was very important that she left us looking as we remembered her just a few days earlier. All the pain and anguish had left her face. She was at peace and looked like she was sleeping. My beautiful Mom’s journey on earth had ended.
Saying Goodbye
How does one say goodbye to the person who has been their Mom for 69 years. We agreed on things and disagreed on others. I liked some restaurants that she didn’t enjoy. We didn’t agree on music or movies. But she was my Mom and deserved to be respected and honored.
As her passing was nearing, I knew she could hear me. I told her how much I loved her and what a great Mom she was. I told her she raised four responsible kids. We would be alright if she passed. I assured her Dad was waiting for her. I assured her she would no longer be in pain. I assured her we would miss her.
Nothing Fancy
While preparing for her funeral, I found she had made funeral plans for me to follow. Nothing fancy — cremation with no visitation, no casket, no traditional funeral service. It was my task to lay my Mom to rest within the parameters she left me.
Graveside services were scheduled for close family only. We asked for funeral remembrance cards to pass out to the family. Again, nothing fancy.
BloomWorks designed a unique flower arrangement to place on Mom’s grave. As I was talking with the designer, she asked me what Mom’s favorite flower was. I told her purple iris. We both chuckled at using iris for a funeral arrangement in December. Then I had an idea...use the iris bouquet Mom received for her 90th birthday. BloomWorks added stems of iris to the arrangement with there being enough stems for family members to take one as a memorial.
I know Mom would have liked her funeral. It was as she requested — nothing fancy.
More To Do
Mom was living by herself in a 2-bedroom apartment which needed cleaned out.
There were the monthly bills to pay. Her car needed driven to keep the batteries charged. Her phone needed cancelled as well as her cable service. Auto insurance needed cancelled when the car was sold. Her renter’s insurance needed cancelled when the apartment was cleaned out.
It took us about 10 days to clean out her apartment. Every nook and cranny had ‘stuff’ stored there.
Mom was a quilter. Her beautiful quilts were given to family members. My niece took her sewing machine hoping to learn to sew. Lots of fabric was sent to local thrift stores.
Mom was a collector. She had over 100 Hummells which were passed out to family members. She had a collection of vintage miniature pigs, Longaberger baskets and dishes, and carnival glass. We found quite a few Vera Wang purses also.
As we investigated her jewelry, we found about 30 vintage brooches, necklaces, bracelets, and earrings. Some of the jewelry I recognized but many were complete surprises. We chuckled as we were finding mates to earrings. Lisa said Mom would wear earrings that looked similar — no one would notice they weren’t a matched pair!
Mom was a clipper. Frequently she had a clipping for Mark to read. I knew Mom clipped things out of the newspaper but was surprised by the number I found. I found cartoons, articles on flowers, articles including us kids and grandkids, and lots of advice from Dear Abby. I was tempted to throw the whole pile away but instead sat down and started going thru the pile. I found several articles about getting old gracefully and others asking God when it’s my turn.
Boy am I glad I didn’t toss the clippings. It was very quiet working in the apartment. There was no TV — cable had been turned off. There was no radio — it went to a new home. The silence gave way to memories and sharing stories about Mom. The day came to lock the door to Mom’s apartment for the last time. The last piece of furniture had been picked up. Tomorrow the keys would be turned in. We said goodbye to the apartment that kept Mom warm and safe over the past six years.
Mom was a collector. She had over 100 Hummells which were passed out to family members. She had a collection of vintage miniature pigs, Longaberger baskets and dishes, and carnival glass. We found quite a few Vera Wang purses also.
As we investigated her jewelry, we found about 30 vintage brooches, necklaces, bracelets, and earrings. Some of the jewelry I recognized but many were complete surprises. We chuckled as we were finding mates to earrings. Lisa said Mom would wear earrings that looked similar — no one would notice they weren’t a matched pair!
Mom was a clipper. Frequently she had a clipping for Mark to read. I knew Mom clipped things out of the newspaper but was surprised by the number I found. I found cartoons, articles on flowers, articles including us kids and grandkids, and lots of advice from Dear Abby. I was tempted to throw the whole pile away but instead sat down and started going thru the pile. I found several articles about getting old gracefully and others asking God when it’s my turn.
Boy am I glad I didn’t toss the clippings. It was very quiet working in the apartment. There was no TV — cable had been turned off. There was no radio — it went to a new home. The silence gave way to memories and sharing stories about Mom. The day came to lock the door to Mom’s apartment for the last time. The last piece of furniture had been picked up. Tomorrow the keys would be turned in. We said goodbye to the apartment that kept Mom warm and safe over the past six years.
Moving On
From November 18 to December 27, we rallied around Mom. Now it was time to get on with our lives. Mom would have wanted us to get back to our own lives as soon as we could. We will still grieve her loss. There will still be tears.
With every day that passes, memories will help us.
Now it was time to grieve. We had been together as a family since November 18 taking care of Mom and each other. We scheduled our times with Mom so someone was there as much as possible.
The next few weeks and months will be hard. The family holidays will be difficult without Mom. But soon we will be able to talk about Mom without crying. We will share memories without crying.
The next few weeks and months will be hard. The family holidays will be difficult without Mom. But soon we will be able to talk about Mom without crying. We will share memories without crying.
Above all, we will miss and love her.
Written by her loving daughter, Janell O’Connor
Jean with her youngest great-granddaughter Scarlett
Her favorite flowers
